Curious about hosting for the first time? Thinking about taking the leap and welcoming an exchange student? Cori and her family felt the same excitement and nervousness as many first-time host families. They took the plunge and decided to host Diana from Spain, who is spending the 2023-24 school year in Yuma, Arizona. Since Diana’s arrival into their home, she has blended seamlessly within the family, creating cherished memories along the way. Cori shares how it’s been a life-changing and beautiful exchange experience for her family.
What initially inspired you and your family to host an exchange student for the first time?
It kind of happened by accident. A friend from high school, Mandy, hosted an exchange student last year and had a great experience. She briefly mentioned hosting last summer while I was still in graduate school, so I told her it wasn’t a great time. Then in September as we were planning our high school reunion, she said, “I know I asked you in the summer, but now that you’ve graduated, what are your thoughts on hosting an exchange student?” And I told her I haven’t thought about it.
She said there was a situation where an exchange mom had to go overseas for work and they needed to find a new home for her teen exchange student. My husband and I have previously been foster parents to teen girls in the past, and it kind of opened the conversation up. I talked with my husband about it. It really wasn’t something we were seeking out, but it kind of came to us. We wanted to help to keep the girl in the same school and we were in the same area where she was placed.
Did you initially have any concerns before hosting for the first time?
I was a director of a foster care and adoption agency for a long time so I didn’t really have concerns. I’ve lived in the world of children coming in and out of homes. The dynamic of exchange students are so different than what we were used to before working with children in the foster care system.
We have an 11-year-old daughter and an 8-year-old son. Once we got approved as a host family and saw her, I was like, “This young lady is an exceptional student and a pretty incredible kid.” I think the scariest piece for us was that we have a very busy life and my husband is the captain of the fire department. He’s gone for at least 24 hours at a time, and I travel a lot for my job. Trying to navigate the business while adding another child was going to be our dynamic. I also want Diana to feel connected and loved just as much as my own children and make sure our extended family is on board with that. It’s always been a priority before we said yes to hosting.
How do you and your husband balance hosting while working full-time and raising two children?
I’ve always been a pretty busy individual who is highly involved in my community. My parents and my in-laws are retired, so they provide constant support and help throughout the week and they’re very involved with our family. My parents live right down the street from the high school where Diana goes to and my mom is home most of the time, so she’s found a gym partner and another person who she can talk to and help support throughout the day. It’s been a beautiful experience. It’s like the saying, “It takes a village.”
How did your children react to having a host sibling?
We fostered my son and adopted him, but he’s been with us since he was 14 months old. We’ve had different kids live with us, so they’ve been used to having big sister figures in the home. Initially, my son was very immediately attached to her. My daughter was a little bit shyer and more reserved. Now, we are all really, really close with Diana.
It was odd to me not only how quickly my children and I became attached to her, but how quickly she blended into this family. How she really absorbed her role in this family has been wonderful. Like I said before, Diana is a pretty incredible young lady. She’s very aware of herself and very good at communicating. My daughter plans a girls night once a week with Diana and she really looks up to her. June is not a good month for us since we are not ready to see Diana leave.
Do you have any favorite memories while hosting Diana?
I have so many favorite memories, but Diana fell in love with camping, which is something that we do as a family. While camping, she doesn’t even care about her phone. She just wants to be in nature and hang out with us. It’s very unlike my other friends who have teenage children. It’s been different, but so cool. I’m like, this is what it’s like when you have a teenager who actually wants to hang out with you and enjoying the things that we take for granted.
She’s also an only child and her mom was a single mom for a long time, so it’s been eye opening to me about what my family takes for granted and what we’re really lucky to experience. Diana is also so helpful. My kids are learning how to do chores and they don’t do them very great and that’s okay. I appreciate they try, but with Diana, I don’t have to ask her. She’s the one asking how she can help. It’s just a breath of fresh air.
Do you have advice for someone who is considering hosting for the first time?
They are children, even though some of them might be turning 18 when they come. I like to imagine what would I need if I was placed in a foreign country in a random town with a family completely unlike my own as a senior or junior in high school. As caregivers, we want our children to adapt to our culture and our environment. I don’t really think that’s fair, and I really recommend people to be curious and ask. Sometimes these students are trying to fit into the mold of the family and don’t speak up for things they’re missing from home or what they wish they had. It could be something as simple as a meal.
Diana is very open. Around the holidays, she mentioned how we have a big family and it was so awesome to see so many people, but she also missed her family. It’s important to give space, but acknowledge you can have a joyous time and be sad. It’s not just letting her know I’m available if she wants to talk, we need more than that. As caregivers and parents, we have to go and ask them what is it that you love about being here and what’s something that’s hard for you here. Be willing to compromise because there’s a lot of things we do just because we grew up doing them. Is it truly connected to our values and how we function as a family? And if not, have some flexibility. We have learned so many things about how her mom raised her that we want to do more of because we see what it’s resulted in.
They have a lot to contribute to and I think we have to switch the mindset of what we’re doing. This is really reciprocal. I feel like she is giving me more than I have given her. She might say otherwise, but it’s really been a beautiful exchange of growth for both sides of the parties. She is a part of us now. It’s a good problem to have that we’re going to be so heartbroken when Diana returns to Spain. It’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. This is something that’s been life changing for all of us.
Stay tuned for our next post, where we share a heartfelt thank you letter written by Diana from Spain
Are you interested in making a student like Diana a part of your family? We are looking for American host families to welcome a student for the upcoming 2024-25 school year! Check out the profiles of our wonderful students!
